Why do we have to justify #GoodSex with #LOVE ?

Yesterday @TokyoTwilighter went off on a short rant about a former friend that is a well-known female for having ‘been deflowered by many gentlemen’ This ho usually justifies her behavior as ‘he cares about me’, ‘we are good friends’, ‘he always helps me out’ blah blah blah… notice how the words #LOVE #Relationship #Happy do not come up.

Why do so many women feel the need to justify a good night (or morning or afternoon) of sex by turning it into something it will never be?

CHRISTIAN GUILT

They grew up in a devout household that dictates ‘no sex until marriage’ and their internal ‘waiting for honeymoon’ virgin is screaming hail marys to remove the ‘heinous’ act from their pure soul.  “Oh SHIT, I went home with a guy that I am not in love with and would never get married to and now I’m going to go to hell.  Let me try and make myself love him.”  You can’t turn an orange into a basketball and you can’t make ‘what was your name again?’ into the ‘one and only’.

GOOD GIRL COMPLEX

They have listened to too many guys go on about the ‘good girl’ that stays out of the club, goes to church, only drinks on occasion and would NEVER have a meaningless one night stand of mind blowing sex and sexual freedom.  “We are friends, and he takes good care of me.”  Right, he took good care of you in bed that one night which definitely means he is going to be there when you need help taking care of things like bills, your car or lifting heavy furniture.

BELIEF IN FAIRY GODMOTHERS

They still think we can wave a wand and turn the frog into prince charming, the friend into a boyfriend and the pumpkin in to a chariot.  Crushing on a guy friend is a hard situation to be in, but realizing he slept with you just for the sex and not because he feels the way you do is confidence shattering.  “It was one time and he was confused afterwards about our status.”  Uh huh, he was certainly confused about how come you were still in the bed and not out the door.  Things that are meant to be will be so stop sprinkling pixie dust on your sex partners while they sleep, if they’re meant to be more they will be.

LONELINESS

They want the attention of the man, a man, every man because their father, brother, uncle, ex bf, other important male figure didn’t give them enough time or kisses and now they’re seeking it every which way they can.  “He really cares about me.”  The arms of a man around you may be a comforting feeling that you didn’t get enough of growing up, but changing those set of arms as often as you change your sheets just means you need a teddy bear or a shrink that gives bear hugs.

+Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.+ Daniel S. Greenberg

Before you get physical with a man figure out if you’re doing it for the physical pleasure, #Emotional release or to fill that ’empty gaping hole’ #pause #inYourSoul

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One Response to Why do we have to justify #GoodSex with #LOVE ?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Why do we have to justify #GoodSex with #LOVE ? « #HashtagMag -- Topsy.com

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